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America's Sweethearts (2001)
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America's Sweethearts is the
latest slice of pasteurized fast-film product to slide off the Julia Roberts Romantic
Comedy assembly line. This is a film so
generic it should have been shot in black and yellow; there's precious little in the way
of either Romance or Comedy to enjoy along the way–it's mostly
filler. But rest assured - Julia is her usual
perky, winsome and toothy self and she manages to fight through obstacles to eventually
get her guy. Sorry if that spoils the fun,
but if there were any doubts it wouldn't be a Julia Roberts Romantic Comedy, now would it?
In
this installment of As The Julia Turns, the guy is movie star Eddie Thomas (John
Cusack). He and estranged wife Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones) have made so
many films together the public knows them as "GwenAndEddie". But they're
now bitter adversaries, ever since Gwen left Eddie to shack up with a sultry Spanish
co-star (Hank Azaria). Separately their film careers have foundered, but there's one
more G&E feature left in the can. But all that's been seen of the film are the
first 15 seconds of the titles, as quirky director Hal Weidmann (Christopher Walken) is
still tinkering with the picture.
To keep the press occupied until
Weidmann can deliver a finished product, studio head Dave Kingman (Stanley Tucci) enlists
ace publicist Lee Phillips (Billy Crystal) to make it at least look like G&E are
thinking of reconciling. Lee books a resort in the middle of the desert to hold the
press junket while he tries to work his magic with
the star-crossed couple. Where's Julia in all this? She's Kiki, Gwen's sister
and personal assistant. In Lisa Loeb glasses and Pebbles Flintstone hairdo,
Julia/Kiki is a dowdy waif who's recently lost sixty pounds. She's always been in
love with Eddie. He's always loved her too, but he just doesn't know it yet.
You can bet he eventually will.
Hollywood loves to poke fun at
itself, but the humor in the Billy Crystal/Peter Tolan script is either base (lots of
crotch jokes) or slick and glib without being very funny–think Neil Simon on a bad
day. It tries to show that even movie stars have everyday problems but instead
repeatedly displays that there really is very little humanity behind that screen facade
and that most film types are shallow,
self-centered and insecure–like
Gwen, a demanding diva, only drinking water
"with electrolytes", charming in public but only partially human when talking to
her sister in private.
The
main problem with the film is that we're supposed to care about Gwen and Eddie and the
rest of the film folk, but their problems all seem exalted and unworldly. Except for
Julia/Kiki in her familiar underdog role (and how odd is it that we're asked to believe
that Julia Roberts is The Ugly Duckling?), everyone else is in a position of favor and
privilege. This is a film that peels off the outer layer of glitter to reveal... a
core of glitter underneath. It's
hard to be sympathetic to someone just because their latte arrives 10 seconds late.
In the end - like most films that try to lampoon Hollywood - the barbs are old and dull and thrown
weakly at large and easy targets.
Joe
Roth's direction is particularly arid. Wide
parched vistas of monotony separate scrabbly oases of amusement
and
the payoff for a gag almost never matches the time devoted to its setup. Whatever
energy the film has is provided by the secondary characters, who are sadly
underused. Walken and Tucci brighten the screen during their brief visits, as does
Alan Arkin as a New Age therapist and Seth Green as a hard-charging but naive aide.
Hank Azaria's attempt at a hunky lisping Castilian only comes off as ridiculous.
John Cusack stands out among the leads;
his delivery is much better than the material. His Eddie Thomas is the only
character in the film that even approaches being a
believable human being. Crystal is all schtick and smirks.
Good triumphs. Love
conquers all. Happily Ever After is attainable. That's what's expected from a
Julia Roberts Romantic Comedy, and that's what America's
Sweethearts eventually delivers. Too bad the means don’t justify the ends.
- Bob Aulert
