7:03pm – Eek! I was at the gym and suddenly noticed Milo Ventimiglia dressed for a Love Boat reboot on the treadmill TV and realized I was missing the Emmy red carpet! Stupid exercise!
7:08pm – By the way tonight’s Emmys 2018 drinking game is: every time I bitch about Twin Peaks getting shafted, take a drink. (No, seriously, don’t, you’ll wind up with alcohol poisoning.)
7:10pm – Big night, big lady in a big cool shiny pantsuit. GIVE LESLIE JONES HER FIRST EMMY, EMMYS!!!
7:11pm – Tiffany Haddish looks like she’s suddenly going to turn into IT and eat a child.
7:13pm – Gwendoline Christie = Xanadu + Friar Tuck + the first contestant getting voted off Project Runway.
7:18pm – Belated congrats to John Legend on his EGOT…but Rita Moreno’s still the EGOAT!
7:35pm – Millie Bobbie Brown looks adorable and also like a bunch of tiny, even more adorable Millie Bobbie Browns are about to emerge from beneath her giant hoop skirt.
7:43pm – Oh, look, it’s Evan Rachel Wood who was nominated for an Emmy for the completely stupid Westworld! Fun fact: NOT A SINGLE ACTOR FROM THE MONUMENTALLY SUPERIOR Twin Peaks WAS NOMINATED FOR A DAMN THING! (Drink!)
7:45pm – Taraji P. Henson is wearing something from the Jackson Galaxy collection that he carries around in his cat toy guitar case.
7:53pm – I love I love Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer so much I’m…not even comment on their gowns.
8:00pm – And my best dressed goes to…Sandra Oh’s mother!
8:03pm – This year has the most diverse group of rich people winning awards ever! Congratulations, rich people!
8:11pm – Okay, the new drinking game is Roseanne jokes.
8:16pm – I love all these best supporting comedy nominees, and I love the fact they’re showing actual clips of the performances. But mostly, I love Fonzie. Aaaayyyy!!!!
8:21pm – Apparently Prince has been dead long enough for someone to get rich whoring his music out to credit card commercials.
8:26pm – Alex Borstein: best acceptance speech of the night so far (including some excellent rest room advice).
8:50pm – I was rooting for the amazing Judith Light to win Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series, but I’ll never root against the luminous Merritt Wever, so…congrats, MW!
9:03pm – I am, of course, unhappy that Twin Peaks didn’t win in one of the (way too few) categories it was nominated for (drink!) — but the retro sci-fi Plemmons episode of Black Mirror that took the limited series writing Emmy looks pretty badass.
9:05pm – Betty White: the personification of standing ovation.
9:14pm – Finish the bottle, because it’s time for the Best Director of a Limited Series award. And, c’mon, even if you don’t think Twin Peaks was better than Versace (though it so totally was)…wouldn’t a David Lynch acceptance speech been way more fun than Ryan Murpy’s?
9:23pm – Also, belatedly: why aren’t Ru Paul and Leslie Jones starring in the new season of True Detective?
9:26pm – #ReparationEmmys, and YES, Tichina Arnold from Everybody Hates Chris most definitely deserves one…and Jimmy Walker…and the entire cast of The Wire (or even a SINGLE ACTOR from The Wire), and…
9:32pm – Outstanding Directing for a Variety Special: The Best Sound Editing of the Emmys.
9:33pm – Whoops! Spoke WAY TOO SOON…Best Variety Director guy is bringing major feels to the ceremony with a tribute to his recently deceased mother, AND THEN HE PROPOSES MARRIAGE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND! (And Leslie Jones is loving it so much she officially needs to be invited to the wedding as a bridesmaid!)
P.S. to the Academy Awards: I heard you wanted to skip the less sexy categories this year. Um…did you notice how the BEST moment of the Emmys tonight was in one of those less sexy, non-celebrity categories? Yeah. Just food for thought.
9:48pm – More feels: In Memoriam time. Always a bummer, especially this year since I still can’t believe Anthony Bourdain is dead (and special R.I.P. love to Reg E. Cathey, Neil Simon, Rose Marie, Burt & Aretha).
9:49pm – Love ya, Fred and Maya, but the bit’s not working. (So, by all means, bring it back seven or eight more times.)
9:50pm – DINKLAGE!!! (Always the right choice.)
9:52pm – I love that George R.R. Martin wore his formal Greek fisherman’s cap to the ceremony.
9:53pm – Westworld’s ridiculous but Thandie Newton’s awesome and has been ever since Flirting. Congrats, lady!
10:01pm – I just noticed how the Emmys 70 logo is totally awesome.
10:13pm – I was rooting for Matthew Rhys, even though I don’t watch The Americans. I mean, now is the time, right?
10:22pm – I love a historical montage!
10:33pm – And I also love that Drunk History is Emmy nominated.
10:41pm – I’m sure John Oliver will enjoy his Emmy (even though he won it seconds after everybody in the joint was chanting Stephen Colbert’s name).
10:52pm – Will Ferrell’s walkin’ funny in a comedy tuxedo…and then, the night of Mrs. Maisel love reaches its climax with a Best Comedy Series award.
11:03pm – Welp, I’m not gonna argue with Game of Thrones winning Best Drama because, y’know…awesome.
Good night & see you at the Oscars!